I can’t take selfies with it. Doesn’t have video. Can’t watch a movie. It doesn’t scroll. Or buy sneakers. No email, text, or Face Time. Doesn’t vibrate, buzz, or ping. Can’t play Candy Crush. No Insta or Tik Tok. Can’t find me a date. Doesn’t get me on the bus. Won’t show me the way home. Or give me the weather, the headlines, or the stock market. I can’t take it with me. It doesn’t even fit in my pocket.
But I’ve never lost it. Not once. And I don’t want to buy a new model that looks exactly like the old model every year. No one can’t track me on it, and I don’t have to worry about someone capturing my calls, unless they have a warrant from a judge.
And I don’t compulsively look at it. In fact, when I’m not on it, I hardly think about it at all.
The only thing it really does is make phone calls. And answer them.
Imagine that?
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